Calling All Angels

For this human being, I cannot remember a year that delivered so many many gifts braided in uncertainty. I have welcomed innumerable friendships and opportunities into my realm. PCA has made a splash and many many friends. This has been both unexpected and validating. All the while, I have left unsavory workplaces because the cacaphony of client disdain and disrespect  was clattering so loudly it sounded like the ghost of Marley rattling the sins and guilts of Christmas past with the fervor of a very last chance to be heard. I felt no other option than to listen and speak out. Sadly it has been to no avail thus far. I have few regrets other than not sounding an alarm loudly enough. There are many more wrongs to right.

I have said so many goodbyes this year, I am numbed from letting go. Both my contemporaries as well as touchstones have lifted off as in spaceships setting sites for the next assignment. I have felt melancholy and sadness anticipating my own orders to follow suit. I remain however connected to my work. And though  I waiver between thinking I’m failing and believing I’m in step, I have the fortune to receive a succession of gifts – some Are given and some I merely stumble upon. I have bonded with a new colleague this year who has bathed my soul in light. Add this to the other warriors in my circle, I have learned that it’s really their journey and I am allowed to participate . I’m completely content with this arrangement. It’s like watching a sunrise again and again.

I also have received feedback that is like fertilizing my garden. This is a most unexpected surprise from the universe….

” Hi Rod! I didn’t get to see you again before you left first steps, but I wanted to thank you for everything. You really helped me in ways and I often think about things you said and realize how much deeper you pushed me to look. Yes, life fell apart, and you helped me understand that I’m not a horrible person and helped me see things a LOT differently, even with my students and their parents. You’re an amazing human and soul, and a gifted recovery coach/counselor. You have helped, I’m guessing, beyond thousands of troubled people feel okay about struggling, and I’m sure thousands of people think of you, or something you helped them to overcome or realize or learn. Whether they reach out to you and say it or not, I’m sure every day you run across all those minds and change all the lives you touch. Your work is amazing. I appreciate you. THANK YOU

you don’t have to, I just think that it’s important to let others know how you changed their life. I became a teacher because I tried to kill myself in 7th grade and my 7th grade teacher reported me. I wrote him a suicide note. I want to be the difference the same he was for me, and that you were for me. that’s why I’m a teacher”

This of course is not about me- it’s about being brave enough to look when your life beckons.. this is no small feat and this spiritual warrior has begun a new adventure. It’s a gift none-the-less.

This new year inaugurates a new call for wisdom that stretches far beyond “now” calling all angels… save us from ourselves..  and thank you universe for the opportunity to grow in my life.

#buddhism #coloradorecovery #emotionalsobriety #working

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