i published his post is for my friend kvb in 2017. She was beginning a recovery journey and dealing with the unknowing of all that. - i know it’s really a pain in the ass right now. Feelings are overwhelming, life is nothing but battles and barriers, and you don’t feel very good about the choices that have gotten you to this position in your life. I get it. And I understand.
I hope you will understand too. You have met the joker of life that forcibly, bullishly, and laughingly reminds you that you are simply human. No matter how distasteful this mere fact of our own humanity is, it remains one ongoing and unwavering truth. We are only human and we don’t ace life all the time.
Sometimes life sneaks up behind us and scares the bejeesuz out of us. This is where you are picking yourself up from. It’s a position that Joseph Campbell described as being one of the common themes of stories and art throughout history. This mocking spirit usually depicted by a joker like face or harlequin like character. For centuries, life has a habit of surprising almost all of us with a huge “Gotcha!”
Please find comfort in the thought that you are no worse than anyone else. Certainly no better- but definitely no worse. I have survived this same big scare in my life. You can too. I have no doubt.
Hang in there! I believe in you!