Like all explorers, we are drawn to discover what’s out there without knowing yet if we have the courage to face it. -Pema Chödrön
The next chapter begins with feeling overwhelmed. I have undergone some shapeshifting lessons in surrender and letting go. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually, there have been metaphorical figures at a doorway that have appeared and beckoned me to step through which is what I have done in each instance with due diligence.
I chose this image as it represents how I am feeling in this moment. Most importantly though is some hope. I have been employed in a series of positions that kept me in a quagmire of inability. Services rendered were based upon organizational requirements with little time to focus on client needs. One director brazenly repeated often that “we don’t do case management here” which echoed through my brainas a Greek chorus might repeat in the form of an oracle. Another owner consistently set every request up for an intake even before they could be deemed appropriate for the type of treatment provided. I have let go of this treatment modality in the form it takes today.
With this exercise, a myriad of feelings like freedom, opportunity, fiscal responsibility,pragmatism, and ancient and appropriate fears. And in the midst of cacaphony, I am finding faith. Faith in my ability to traverse the terrain ahead. Faith that my surviving all the insanity and pestilence that has not annihalated me affords me comfort that I have well. Even if I am unable to do more. Faith that my journey is a learning process and requires attention and participation to be fulfilling.
“I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me.”….. A Course in Miracles
Nowhere Man The Beatles Lyrics He’s a real nowhere man Sitting in his nowhere land Making all his nowhere plans for nobody Doesn’t have a point of view Knows not where he’s going to Isn’t he a bit like you and me? Nowhere man please listen You don’t know what you’re missing Nowhere man, The world is at your command He’s as blind as he can be Just sees what he wants to see Nowhere man, can you see me at all Nowhere man don’t worry Take your time, don’t hurry Leave it all till somebody else Lends you a hand Ah, la, la, la, la Doesn’t have a point of view Knows not where he’s going to Isn’t he a bit like you and me? Nowhere man please listen You don’t know what you’re missing Nowhere man, The world is at your command Ah, la, la, la, la He’s a real nowhere man Sitting in his nowhere land Making all his nowhere plans for nobody Making all his nowhere plans for nobody Making all his nowhere plans for nobody