martyr-ing is hard work

image credit…. ddmag

i actually have a full time job and 2 part time positions- i teach dui (driving under the influence) for people who get tickets driving while drinking. i also work with private chefs at small parties for families of means around town. i have been doing the latter for about 5 years and it has been pretty smooth. the money is quite good, and i am inserted into environments to which i would normally not have access.

last night was certainly one of those times. i set up dinner at a small informal card party for 8 in one of the upscale  neighborhoods. it was all very cordial and proper, until about an hour in when the social lubrication started to kick in. the subject of the recent election became the topic and the language became foul-acidic, visceral and foul. i was flooded with mixed emotions – my belief that people are entitled to their emotions- then the judgemental side which was directly reacting to the vitriolic aspect of the words. i felt as if i were in the la brea tarpits for a while. i kept making my way to the garage to cut the sound.

my personal feelings aside, i am reminded of just how powerful our emotions are. polished and professional people, kind and thoughtful people. gentle and generous people all have the capability and inclination to switch to predatorial behaviors when feeling threatened. it’s a concept as old as time, but remains a mystery to me. but i’ll keep studying.

which reminds me, i am sort of hosting our office holiday party this year. i decided that we will celebrate 50 years of the rolling stones. and writing this post made me think “you can’t always get what you want”….

but more importantly – more nico..

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