undisclosed desires

I know you’ve suffered But I don’t want you to hide It’s cold and loveless I won’t let you be denied Soothing I’ll make you feel pure Trust me You can be sure I want to reconcile the violence in your heart I want to recognise your beauty’s not just a mask I want to exorcise the demons from your past I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

the weekend is almost up us and i am hoping to get outa dodge if only for a day. and this weekend i am gonna try to hit valley view hot springs. nestled near the sangre de cristo mountains, just outside alamosa colorado. it is clothing optional in all the park, although that is certainly not my reason for going. i am going for the springs. i can use some cleansing and some muscle relaxation. massages are great, but i haven’t had one in almost 20 years. the last time i had a massage, i started crying for no reason and it spooked me.

so off to the hot springs i hope to go. i won’t be posting for a few days. today is my 52nd birthday and i work a party tomorrow evening. i am working on saturday as well, subbing for another counselor at the DUI agency along with dinner and a movie with family.. sunday i have brunch with my sponsor and then i hope to head for the hills.

2nd stage recovery has it’s challenges yes, but it definitely has its gifts. one of the most prevalent is feeling comfortable with me. relearning how to live involves a new level of safety. and this is a trail worth following. i am introducing a request to start a new group at work. it will address the omnipresent issues that still exist with meth users in my community. i have some fears that some of this desire to do this may be unrequited goals from the past, but i don’t believe that is the whole of it.

i am requesting a trip to chicago in october to attend a opioid replacement conference. this is a chance to expand my experience in my work and to see good friends once again. fingers crossed on this one.

i am working on the next issue of the TEN newsletter and i am very excited for this issue. a group of contributors have submitted writing and it holds the opportunity to present a voice that is historically very silent here in colorado.

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